I used to be....

into guys that were into me.. but now I hate everyone equally...

actually it struck me when I started to write the title..."I used to be..." about a million things that I used to be.. that I'm not anymore...

I used to be...
rich
talented
famous (not really but sorta)
loved(no, but it just came out)
wealthy
interesting
happy (no but that just came out too)
intriguing
mysterious
thinner
smart
funny
available(that means other things than what you're thinking)
sexy
powerful
married
dating
ambitious
qualified
accepted (again, different meaning)
adored (eh? maybe)
loving
passionate


oh, that's enough..
some of those things I suppose I still am, but in a different way... I guess in everyone's "evolution" we go through rough patches.. I think I'm in mine...I hope that if in everyone's life there is the pinnacle of one horribly difficult time, that this is mine.. even at times when I thought it was rough, it never seemed anywhere near as difficult as this...

With all that I'm going through.. and all that I've been... I guess I can say
that
I am...
grateful
lucky
hopeful
gifted
talented
ambitious
creative
compassionate
working
desirous
protected
healing
learning
intelligent (although it doesn't always feel that way)
sleepy
still going
still working
still planning
still trying

I guess that's what makes all the difference.. All of the rest of it may fall away, and maybe even those things that I "am" will fall away as well and be replaced by hopefully newer and better things... but what I am right now, makes all the difference.